Sport: Basketball Match in Port Dickson

On 27th December I suddenly get a phone calls from friends inviting my friend and I to help out with statistic for international high school basketball tournament in Port Dickson. I was shock and unprepared for that and i got a bloody scold from my mum before i depart.

"What can basketball contribute to your future? she throw me a realistic question frustratingly.

Suddenly that thought provoked to me. "So what's can basketball offer to me?" I can't seem to answer her question and this question has actually bothered me for the next coming days.

After the match has been over. Now i seem to figure out why i love watching basketball match so much, without me being conscious for any valid reason.

1st, actually i love to see guys hanging around with each other. The way they deal with their friends can be just so easy with simply pure fun. I am lack of guy friends and i always has the natural tendency to stick with girl friends more (well, can say most of them are quite sensitive at times and a lot of technique been playing around as to get what they wanted; i might be one of the described; but somehow i guess i am just too tired to deal with these).

I feel so relax and found out that i am emotional involved with every single point gain from my favorite basketball player as well as their team. It was just so nice to shout and cheer for their glory moment. Sometimes i get to meet with some favorite players too and i guess it's rare opportunities ever in my life.

These few days, i am glad that i have the opportunity to watch nice match with few hot guys available. Somehow, i enjoy 'interacting' with them *blush*

• YUK CHAI team from Petaling Jaya

Player no. 8 - Choong Yu Bin

My 1st impression with him was when his 1st match with Woodgrove team. When the opponent team fault him, the cute impression he gave hinting the referee was just so cute! and yes, it attracted me =)

And when we're having buffet in hotel ballroom. I am not sure whether it's him intentionally or accidentally sitting right opposite me, hence, it creates more opportunity for us to interact with each other.

Plus, whenever he is in match, my eyes sight was like 90% starring at him; and his frequent look at me has been caught by me; then we both faster look away shyly. Guess what? I count and report the numbers of time our eyes intercept. Poor my friend, i guess she is annoyed by listening all these rubbish from me. haha

For me, Yu Bin is such a quiet and shy guy. I am kind of like him and i guess (at least i wish) he feel the same too. Although it's such a waste since we have not asking for any further contacts from each other; but i wish him all the best in his future ^.^

• Woodgrove team from Singapore

Player no. 4 - Wong Ye Xu

The 1st time i started to spot him was when i am passing a paper to him. I talked to him for awhile with English and realized he has nice voice with sexy body. The consequent match i am starring at him most of the time. He is kind of fast, furious and impulsive player; but his body size is just perfect especially when his sweat is sticking on his tanned looking skin. My goodness!

Player no. 7 - Pek Jia Rong

Jia Rong is same team with Ye Xu; and he is just right beside Ye Xu when i talking to him. Although i didn't really talk to him but i think i can recognize his physical appearance. Well, i can say he is quite a good leader in the team and he is very clam in leading the team especially in very critical moment. He shout most of the time ordering players in the court; but for me his voice sucks lol. And his body is not as attractive as Ye Xu; but his attitude kind of impressed me.

I know i am being very gatal and nonprofessional for playing dubious with the players. But i guess my heart can just be simply delighted by these. Since there is no harm doing this except the people beside me feel like fainting. But i guess i will still continue if any chance. It's just the way how i enjoy the match and how i please myself =)

So yea, no regrets for this trip and i know how to answer my mum next time when she question me "what can basketball offer".

Basketball gave me a lot of growing experiences and sweet memories. As long as i have the opportunity, i will go for it. There is no logical answer explaining my motivation but simply to please myself.

Life isn't fair

Somehow, or can say it most of the time, I tend to upset with myself and frustratingly question my own capability. I am so so hardworking compare to some others but they still can win me easily. I wonder.
Sometimes, i can hear hear the bottom of my heart whispering to me.


It said, yes, my friends are indeedly better English Proficiency than me. And that's would be a good reason explaining why i tried so hard but the best i can do was to be at the same levels with them despite winning them.


However, I should always remember that they are born English educated; and i'm not. And if comparing my current standards with the previous me, I've improved A LOT in these 2 university years. I was totally Chinese Educated and until my current literacy and writing skills, i consider not bad compare to others that were born the same as mine.


I believe everyone's life has somehow been destined. We are all good at certain things and that's what we called it TALENT.


My life is good but my bad habit is to always picking those unachievable "target" to compete with myself. I know i can never win them; but good thing is they actually motivate me to push myself above my own limit.


Here's one insight i recently get from watching one the talent shows -
One Million Star.


Other than enjoy being inspired by all sorts of good songs and learning some singing skills. I realized that i actually enjoy watching them 'growing & glowing'. This talent show is a learning process, the candidates are all surviving themselves on the stage and striving their very best to perform what they got.


But somehow when we can clearly sense how hard one work for their performance and yet their marks are still below some others high record performers that ldidn't ook much prepared. Here we started to question, how the judge actually evaluate? Do they bias on some "good candidates"? Or that's just limited things the "bad candidates" can give?


One dangerous thing is the schema is not well structured and not clearly showed. No one knows where the standard is and what would please the judges. Yes, judges are looking for surprise but what is it actually? And how good is good? How much is consider as perfect and not over?
Some concrete example please?


I had a friend saying: Life is like a movie. You are the one writing script of your life; while others are the one watching the show from you.


I interpret the message in this way:
first, there is no one but us, ourselves are the one that can fully control our life.


second, if we're scripting a movie that people want to watch then there is high probability that we can get favorable or being popular. But from what Oscars and Grammy Awards showed, there are still lots of deviate cases a success.

If we care so much on others' expectation or favor-ism in writing our life script, then we might find our mood fluctuates in accordance with others. That's how sometimesi felt so stupid fooling by others again and again.


third, people are just watching the 'result'. they do not care how much efforts you have putted in. In a way showing that is all superficial. So if we care about showing the superficial things then we will never get a chance to explore deeply on ourselves, seeking the happiness from the bottom of our heart and knowing what we really want in our life.


So yea, always remember what we want in life to prevent us deviate from the right path.
A little stressed is dessert; a little push is motivation. Take it as a good thing then it will helps us in achieving our life goal.

I gave you my heart

The suicide case of counting down in Facebook has successfully gain attention from all. Everyone is commenting, discussing and even starting all sorts of prevention trying to stop the next unwanted case to happen again.

First I wonder how it's affect Facebook? Make it more popular or other way round defaming it?

But one thing i can sure is, Facebook would be definitely more 'happening' as compare to before.

According to the responses, most of my friends scolding him for being immature for ending his precious life; blaming him for being stupid to sacrifice his life for a love that has gone; and some even ask him to rest in peace, claiming that everyone needs a God and what he lack in life is a God to guide him.

For me, suicide is not an action that would be blame on. Everyone has their rights to choose how to live and even ending their life. Worth it or not, is how they measure it themselves, not the thing u can simply evaluate and tell them what to do.

Still remembered the victim said: "Love is what i cannot afford to play".

So what love is?

Love and be loved is always easy to say but somehow hard to do.

How much love do we need? and how much is enough for others?

No one knows.

The hardest decision is always about weighting the give and the take.

I love you that much why can't you love me even once?

I gave you that much how can you never even look at me?

These questions always lead to doubt and insecure; and if it's not resolved. Things will just getting worse.

Anything can happen to a fragile heart; and how fast a broken heart can be fixed is totally depend on one's resiliency.

One should not take love as granted;

Love is not about getting without giving; because someday you might find them exhausting.

Love shouldn't be blind.

Love is not about giving to the only one and forgetting to get it back, remember your empty heart needs to be filled, too.

Love is everywhere from everyone. It's all about how you sense it from others and how can you contribute to make this world a little more lovable.

When you find yourselves suffocating, get a place with fresher air. Take in deep breath then plan your next step in life.

Nothing as impossible yet life is always hard for everyone.

Together we can make a difference.

If justice cannot punish you; i will let the karma do

WHAT THE HECK! I JUST GAVE RM1500 FOR A BITCH TO SPEND!!

It was my ever 1st time got cheated in a lame way, the lamest reason from the stupidest dumb!

"That's just too bad" The only valid reason she could give after spending my RM1500 for granted! And her arrogant face still vividly flashing in mind from time to time. If i could give her a slap, i will take anything to do it. seriously..

Ho Swee Kim! You're a law student yet you do not apply any single law into the real life!

Only now i know why you need to repeat your 1st year of degree again, because YOU HAVE NO LOGIC!

I couldn't get myself over from my mistakes and i am so so so depressed on it. I am so so so so frustrated with her and i was so so so upset with myself of being so stupid to be fooled by the stupidest girl in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was an unexpected accident and whatever i can blame is of my bad luck, that's what everyone beside me has said.

"You can't do anything, it's a lesson for a good people like you". My friend said that to me. This has challenge my life motto. I thought it would be alright if i treat people with good intention; at least they will treat me as how i treated them. Now that it was proven wrong, and it's time for me to reflect and re-set my life motto; at least to eliminate this one.

"Why don't you try doing something instead of blaming yourselves?" I bet you will ask me with this question.

I have done whatever i can. I visited a counseling session and i have spent few months of my life asking for professional advices.

I have got all the procedure prepared and support from my lawyer-to-be friend (thank you Vincent for helping). "Wow, it was so complicated but I am sure you can get back your money." He assured me after he investigating on my case.

But after struggling for some times i decided not to lodge a report and sue her in a court.

First, is mainly because of my parents. They were so frustrated at first but then they asked me to let go. For them 1500 is nothing if comparing to my happiness and if it affect my studies then it will be not worth even i've asked back the money.

Second, I attended counseling for that (kindly noted that i am not suffering from any psychological disturbance for that; just that i am using my advantage being a psychology student to attend counseling for free). I shared my problems with the counselor and he asked me few questions in order to help me explore more deeply on the issue.

HIM: "So what you hope to get if you've ask back your money?"

ME: " I am not struggling with the money; just that i need justice, to prove that there is no wrong for good people".

HIM: "So what will you feel after striving for justice?"

ME: "At least I won't feel bad of what i have done, i still want to believe in myself."

HIM: " So even after you get the justice; aside feeling relief then what will you feel?"

ME: "... ..." (couldn't answer)

HIM: "Okay, let's change it this way, so what you feel when you face with this problem until you need to send her to court?"

ME: "That's my rights and she cheated my money in an illegal way!"

HIM: "So how you feel?"

ME: "I feel frustrated and upset"

HIM: "How about telling me about what you have felt on your own?"

ME: "... ..." (couldn't answer again)

He hang there waited for me to answer..

"I felt stupid..." Finally I said it with tears rolling in my eyes.

HIM:"Okay, let's talk about your family, so you have 5 siblings including you." "Do you mind to share some of you childhood memories?"

I was like what the heck? You dig the problems so deep until i even not aware of it then you leave me hang there with more problems.

Now i have gotten another stupid lesson because of the stupid thing.

"It's enough" I think God try to send me this message that is why i chose to let it go.

If justice cannot punish you; i will let the Karma do.

to be better

PART I:
*written on 3th November 2010*

Promised myself to leave perfection for one good reason - to be better

I spent a year and a half living in places like this 

for me it's not only a PLACE; but a PALACE

I fell in love with it at the first sight,

for the first time I saw it, I have already decided to live my life here

but seeing is actually deceiving; dreaming is only believing

sometimes, perfection is nothing better than just dreaming it

under some unavoidable circumstances,

finally I made my decision to leave

it took up a lot of excuses to convince myself,

that I can find a better life out there

I finally leave, with much pains and unwillingness 

__________________________________________________________________

PART II:

*updated on 1st September 2011*

My life was simpler and happier out there. 

Now that I've know my decision to leave was a right move.

As compare to a heaven without angels; 

I rather stay with angel anywhere outside the heaven

I found my angel

thanks for bringing lucks and much laughter to my life

Cheers! for life

Promised myself to leave perfection for one good reason- to be better

我失恋了

一年多的感情。。一见钟情的好感。。

你曾经曾经地让我为你如此地着迷；让我受尽了委屈都无论如何想留在你怀抱里的执着。。

然而这华丽的圈套我呆不下去了；为了我的前途我选择放弃了那完美的你。。

也许是我太年轻了；太依赖你了

在你怀抱里我经常失去理智；是时候放开你去追寻我要的未来。

你依然是我所向往的那个他；你依然是我人生的目标

我不怕失去你，因为我对你有满分的信心。

谢谢你给过的美好，我拥有过，也珍惜过

我在努力着；相信很快的一天，我会回到你怀抱

Health Psychology

Health Psychology is one of the elective subjects lecturing by my favorite lecturer, Dr. Hera Lukman

Before I start on any, let me briefly introduce you Dr. Hera Lukman as you might read quite a few of my posts talking about her

Dr. Hera Lukman is a health psychologist with research interests in the ares of eating disorders and health communication. She is also a registered Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society 

[information taken from http://www.help.edu.my/uprofile/103]

Additional notes: Dr. Hera discussing about body image and sex, want to know what she'd said? click on the link below *wink*

http://lifestyle.malaysia.msn.com/Relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4112013

Dr. Hera Lukman is also a lecturer in HELP University College from Psychology department.

I took few psychology related subjects lectured by her:

Introduction to Psychology, Biological Psychology, Health Psychology and Psychology of Eating

Her lecture is inspiring, which always made my eyes shine with hopes in every of her class

Now, Let's me share with you what I've learned :)

Do you know?

How much servings of fruits and vegetables are actually enough?

How often should one exercise per week and how long per session?

Fruits and Vegetables

Fruits and Vegetables should be taken at least 5 servings per day, best with mixture of 5 different colors such as red (apples, cherries), yellow (banana, orange) purple (grapes, blueberries), green (leafy vegetables) and white (garlic, mushrooms). However, we are advisable to go more than 5 servings per day, just not to take extreme on one type of color of fruit or vegetable.

So how much is consider as one serve?

From what have showed above, 1 serving simply means 1 medium size OR to be more accurate, 1 cup of chopped fruits or vegetables approximately about 100g.

Exercise

You might always wonder. We have actually done a lot of exercise indirectly in our daily routine.

For example we walk everyday from car to office; walk up stairs; lifting heavy documents or carrying heavy bags around;

giving our car a bubble wash once a week; helping mummy to do some house chores

So is that consider as exercise, no?

Actually, those are consider as labor; not exercising

if it's consider as 'exercise' also it can barely replace the real workout

Physical exercise is not only a bodily activity; but to enhance and maintains our physical fitness and wellness. 

It's can be flexibility training; aerobic and anaerobic exercise

so stop thinking life is such easy! 

indoor or outdoor - get yourselves out of the house and start sweating :D

人生

我放下了一切该有的“优势”,告别了“温暖”;

向“智慧”老爷打了一份工,

刻苦耐劳赚取了些“人生经验”,

从此也跟“烦恼”打上了交道；

无意间当上了“奢侈”的奴隶，

也陷下了“华丽”的圈套，

打上了“忧虑”；但心里只有“真诚”

Sadness of vampire

Ever frustratingly doubt on God 'permission' once when I found myself being 'unallowed' from watching the Eclipse no matter how badly I wanted.

I am a fans of Twilight Saga and I've watched both the Twilight and New Moon in Cinema, hoping to keep a good record by finish watching the whole series in Cinema with friends (^,^)

Being drown in the crowd two times in Mid Valley both Sat and Sun queuing in long queue; and both times when I stand in front of the cashier man just about to purchase the ticket, my friends always have their reasons to reject me differently at that last crucial minute!

By half-forcing half-tolerating, I finally get to watch Eclipse 9 days after the movie been screened. But all worth waiting.

The plot is a cliff hanger and the actors are all so prefect looking on the screen, the temperament of vampire and the hot muscular body of the wolf man *drooling*.

Furthermore, Twilight has now more deuteragonist sharing the fame being part of Twilight aside of the group of leading actors.

The remarkable scene I love the most is when the sad facts of being a Vampire is revealed. Such a thought provoking facts, the Twilight Saga movies addicts always fascinate about the fantasy life of a vampire until they have forgotten there is no creature is called perfect. Vampires are now no longer perfect as what we thought they were, they have no blood, no soul and will never get to enjoy a normal aging life like normal human do. But the smart author still be able to hold our breath by arousing our psychological emotion - empathy back on the vampire.

I bet everyone of us ever think of being in the same age, enjoy the youngness and live forever in this world. But have we ever think of how bore it might be if we repeating the same routine over a hundred years by never getting a single chance to proceed to next developmental stage so as to complete the life circle?

And here's a saying. If you have forever to do it, you will never do it.

Personally think that it is still the best for us to keep our own obligation by living a short but sweet life.

Here to hope you can live your life to the fullest. *hugs*

my 13 years old Prince of Persia

PSY 312, Youth Work and Services is an elective class that equip students with the knowledge of services for young people and help prepare students in the profession of community services.

I had fun attending the classes and enjoy working with the course mate completing the project assigned.

Million thanks to the young lecturer - Mr. Eric Byan who always try his best to help us understand the nature of helping so as to prepare us for the volunteering work.

From what I observed, he is very into volunteering work and maybe overly committed into it, he is now still single at the age of 40+. But what the wrong with it? As long as he doesn't feel lonely, that's fine.

Can see that he is fully involve in volunteering work, and commit all his time for the students and guess what, ha had all the fun he is seeking for!

He is really funny, attractive, understanding and gentlemen enough for me to wonder why he is still single? Here, I would like to share some of his funny jokes:

Lesson 1: When you're down, u see everything as negative.
Good morning! (when somebody greet you). (you will tends to reply:) What's so great about the morning?

Lesson 2: The meanest ways to attack one's beauty.
You got the face that only your mother can love (ahahahahahahhaha!)

Okay, back to the topic. The major project of this subject is to visit the refugees with the purpose to asses their needs through interacting with them and come out with a mentoring program which serve the objective of helping them in accordance to their needs.

So, what is the meaning of refugees? are they the same as illegal workers here in Malaysia?

NO. Although both parties are commonly from middle east countries that probably bound to fall behind as compare to the development of Malaysia; but both are distinct in term of choices.

Migrants or illegal workers normally get to choose whether to come Malaysia for better living or back to their country whenever they wanted; but once refugees leave their country, they will never have even a chance return to their country as their country is no longer able to protect their rights.

Migrants or illegal workers such as house maid, legal migrants as well as illegal foreign workers are coming Malaysia seeking for a better living.

As compare to them, refugees are the one coming to Malaysia with no choice at all, led by few reasons. First, they flee from their country to seek for a safety country hoping for a mere protection. Their country maybe in war, father or boy in every family should be sent to be part of the army or the whole family will has to live in fear everyday.
Second possibility might be them got cheated by non-ethical agents to come here and forced to stay.

The common countries of refugees in Malaysia are Burma, Afghanistan and Iran.
However, Malaysia is not a listed countries that provide rights for the refugees to stay in here.

United Nation is among the NGOs that giving them an identity card in Malaysia and trying to protect their rights here. Students from Youth Work are given a rare permission by UN club to have a near interaction with refugees.

I am glad to had a chance to meet with refugees and they surprised me by leaving me a great impact! They are just as lovely as any other children! They are cheerful, outgoing, playful, actively involve in sports, able to speak fluent basic English, willing to learn, and with big dreams. Although they are facing tons of hard times here in Malaysia as compare to normal children, or they may even need to survive for the basic human rights; but they still hold their determination trying to survive and praying for a better living.

I met some of the children age between 6 to 13. They are extremely cute and even some of them had the features like Caucasian! Due to my personal preference (always attracted by hot guys), I selectively interact with some of the guys I think they are charming.
I had a football match with them although I have total no idea which goal to shoot (haha). They melted me by showing their gentlemen side when they borrow their shoes to me from preventing me spoil my lovely ballet shoes. They are so hot playing football with bare foot. HIM, the one i miss is a 13 years old Iranian (for your information, Iran is known as Persia) That's why I call him my Prince of Persia. hehe *blush*

After this visit, I totally change my opinion that I used to had on them. And I miss them... I wish to contribute even a little to fight for their human rights, or just assist them in their living. I wish to have a chance to go back to visit them, I wish to keep some pictures of them for my sweet memories. But I just can't, I have no transport to travel that far to Ampang, I am not allowed to take any photos with them in order to avoid putting them in danger by revealing their identity to the public.

Here I would like to share one of the reflection paper I wrote regarding the false believe I had on them before these. In this process, I changed, so as you can. Hopefully by a little experience and inner feelings that I've share, you can feel like what I felt and start to take a small step by changing your stereotyping on them.


To stay alive, to live a life

My extreme superficial thoughts had actually kept me away from knowing more about refugees. Before this, both refugees and foreign workers are indifferent to me. Both parties come here with the same purpose, for a better living, either successful or not.

In the lesson lectured by Ms. Shanti from UNHCR, here I get some basic knowledge regarding refugees. Normally, refugees do not get to choose, they flee from their country to seek for safety and hoping for a protection in other country; and some of them may cheated by irresponsible agents to come to here and forced to stay. After knowing their situation, here I come to empathy on them.

But when Ms. Shanti ‘yelling’ for the rights of refugees in Malaysia, I started to question: why should we give them the rights in Malaysia? Yes, they are helpless and yes, they flee to Malaysia hoping for some protection, but hey, Malaysia is not that strong enough to even take care of their local residences, why should we still have to care for others? A question from my friend interrupted my thinking. “Try to think if you are them, what you would do if you are in such a situation”. “I would rather stay and die in my own country” I answered without a second thought.

I keep that thought with me until I experience the similar situation by myself. Yesterday I involved in a minor car accident and chased by a taxi driver. To run away from him, I drive myself into an unknown place, get down from my car intended to run to some places with crowd, hoping for some protection, or at least to hide myself away from being seen by him. Luckily I found a ‘mamak’ stall and I take a seat which I think is invisible. I sat there for around half an hour with a glass of teh tarik, pray hard and shivers. But I feel safe at that time in that shelter, from the friendly smile of the waiters, and a greeting from one of the person in charge, from what I can recall.

After that incident, I have a mere understanding of feeling helpless especially in a place that is totally strange to one. Other than feeling glad from saving myself from the accident; I regret for what I have think so far on refugees and what I have said. I am selfish as a person. I am so engaged with myself and enjoy being in my comfort zone until I couldn’t share the privileges I have with others.

To write this reflection paper, I started to explore myself on this issue in Malaysia. Influx of foreigners has indirectly causes significant changes in Malaysia. Cheap labors have actually contributed in reducing the amount of local workers in Malaysia. Normally, foreign workers are hiring with the option of choosing for cheap payment labor and job involve in 3D, demeaning, dirty and dangerous. Nowadays, legal or illegal foreign workers are both the favorite of employers.

If refugees can hire legally in Malaysia, there will be imbalance amount of foreign and local workers in Malaysia. According to prime minister, nearly 3 million illegal foreigners get a job in Malaysia. Continuous influx of foreigners without any restriction has put the local worker in risk of losing job. There’s a saying. Greater amount of foreign workers will lead to greater suffer for local residence resulting from competing for the limited resources.

The influx of foreigners can be clearly seen around some cheap housing areas and surrounding public transport stations. To survive or live a life, they meet some friends and find their mates here in Malaysia, and some of them may start to strive for the same privilege as the local residences have it here, as far as they could. These are the phenomena commonly found in foreign workers. If refugees are allowed to come into Malaysia and find their work here legally, the same problems might occur and the problems will hence been doubled up.

Proper placement should be given to every refugee. If they are not given a job or they felt unsatisfied here, they may commit themselves in crime just to feed themselves. And if they are given legal permission to come into Malaysia and privilege to have education like normal residences, they may just be one of the Malaysian and indirectly, Malaysia may encourage more and more refugees to come over here.

Problems mentioned above may be some of the consideration of Malaysia not singing up as listed country for Convention and Protocol. UNHCR did a good job supporting people with needs, worldwide. By addressing their needs, I believe that UNHCR has solved some difficulties before some undesirable problems have actually occurred. From my personal point of view, refugees flee to Malaysia should have the rights to address their needs and given assistance in sending back to their home country; but not to encourage and support them to stay in Malaysia as an option.

yVonne

The end of life

This year, we are celebrating white Mother's day.

It's just 2 days before Mother's day; my grandma is already on her way going to meet my grandpa in the heaven. We have planned and almost done prepare celebrating with her for this year Mother's day; but she just leave us without any sign, as she has always prepare to die.

"It’s just 2 days before I had dinner with you and you were laughing on my bad table manners. I only see you going hospital for body check up; why do you just take your long sleep without informing? We’re gonna to celebrate mother day with you, remember? We miss you……"

It was just months ago I came across this chapter - Death and Dying.

I was so emotional studying it; it helps me reflect a lot on the process of living and dying; reminds me how vulnerable one can choose to end their life OR how tough determination one can choose to live their life until the last breath.

I cried during my presentation on this topic. Remembered 8 years before my grandpa died of diabetic; and that time my grandma questioned him heart brokenly: "why dun you bring me along?".

But still, she chose to enjoy her life until her last breath, with no any single despair being showed. She is a tough lady, a really tough one.

She has spend her time waiting 8 years and finally she is now heading to meet my grandpa in the heaven.

I cried because it’s unexpected; I cried because we can no longer see her. But no more tears from now, caz I know how badly she waited to live together with my gradpa in the heaven. God may bless them, and they will bless us.

No farewell words were spoken,

no time to say goodbye,

you were gone before we knew it,

and only God knows why.

If love could have saved you,

you would lived forever.

[retrieved from Grandmother Grandfather Funeral Poems]

Thanks for the condolences. I am okay.

the world i am in but never be mine

My second life start here living in Kuala Lumpur.

Studying in HELP University College is a great experience I ever had, standing on my foot. Staying far away from my home sweet home, I have to settle everything by myself; at the same time enjoy the most choosing what to eat and do whatever I love to.

Silly, recall back to the time when I was 16. When practicing for stage performance, a friend of mine proposed an idea that one old lady grocery shopping in Mid Valley (brings the meaning that the old lady is in the trends). At that time I was shocked, by her creative ideas as well as envy on her thinking that I might never even have a chance to do like the old lady.

Few years later, I am now enjoying grocery shopping in Mid Valley (because it is very near to the place I currently staying -Bangsar). And now I change my preference to Bangsar Shopping Center, it's much more nearer and nicer environment.

My place is 2 minutes away from Bangsar Shopping Center, 4 minutes to Bangsar Village, 5 minutes to Mid Valley, and 9 minutes to One Utama, Pavillion, KLCC, Time Square and Law Yat.

Can say that I shop every weeks, I just love to. Spending my money, enjoying my life here within my short 3 years Degree time.

Sharing a home with stranger is a great adventure. Although we all are students; but staying under the roof with different races and gender come from different countries produce sparks and sometime nearly got the whole house burned. Thanks to them, I experienced staying differently in heaven, hell and jungle by mere paying a rent for one house.

Story 1:

I had a vivid experience that a couple fighting in front of me with knife. Yes, a real knife, the knife that I always use to cut meat; and still using it until now (disgusting, rite?) =.=''

I remembered that time I was sitting in front of table memorizing the speech for tomorrow presentation. The couple had a loud fight in their room. After that, the girl rushed into the kitchen and picked a knife, to threaten the boy. With no brave standing the knife waving in front of him, the boy grabbed the knife over and straight pointing back to the girl. Girl sense the danger and slowly move behind to the living room where I am sitting.

At that time I supposing-ly have getting used to the verbal fighting; but the knife had shock me to the core! This is my first time seeing people holding a knife to cut HUMAN! But I was amazed by my calmness at that time. Tried standing in the middle without focusing how scary the knife would do to my precious life; I shouted on them begging them to calm down so that they can have their talks in sober. But no one listen to me even when I shouted.

No point, showed them the key, claiming that I am going to get the security guard so that they can settle it in police station. Now, this works. They stop fighting 'for a while' and the guys throw away his weapon, TO ME! OMG!! That was damn scary man! Yea, maybe he may not be aware which direction he is throwing the knife to, but hey!

After that, they both calm down. The guys was sitting on the couch regretting the terrible thing he had done. The girl cry like hell saying that even her parents never beat her like this before. I am crying too, for the worse experience they gave in of my life.

After a while, I called my mum seeking for some comfort. And my mum replied, you should have just hide in the room. THAT'S IT. I cry even louder after that.

One hour later I turned back to my room, passing their room I saw both of them hugging each other crying out their tears. DAMN IT. They fought, girl and me crying but only the girl get some comfort back. Okay, life isn't fair.

Story 2:

Now I learnt. Thinking that it is a brilliant idea to only recruit female house mates sharing a house with me, so to prevent any nonsense funny things to disturb my life again!

Everything seem perfect when I successfully get all the female staying with me. They are all look so lovely and I really wish to spend my time having fun staying together with them. But then they continuously bring my night mare back to the home.

Within one month time, one of my house mate 'met' a new boy friend here in this apartment (compare to me staying more than one year here getting bugs! but that is not my purpose, so I don't mind). Her bf is a senior manager in Mercedes Benz and now my house mate has her free Mercedes Benz driver send her to college everyday. But fortunately, she choose to has her sweet dream with the guy in his house instead of bringing him back.

But my another house mate bring her bf home and have sex here in the house. At least 2 times a day and normally after meal. Ask me why I am so clear about that? Oh please la, although their room door is shut tight, but they are extremely loud. Everyone in the house (and maybe even our neighbor can hear them). Damn embarrassing staying in the house la.

Taking up the role model as my 'parents', they give me free tutorial everyday educating me regarding sexual matter. Without watching porns or actively investigate the matter; I am already an expert in it, I clearly know the process, even the feeling without me to experience it myself. Seriously. And one more bonus, don't see the guys gentle behave to people; he is really wild in bed.

The surprising part is, her parents not even know she has a boy friend outside! Poor thing. Spend their full attention growing up a child for 20 years old but never get to share even a bit of their daughter's privacy.

But I take up lessons from them through indirect learning. I observe, 'being involve' as part of the incidents. However, I am glad I can learn a little from the lesson without paying much for it.

Story 3:

My same sex house mate is now testing up my 'sexual desire' or to see whether I have affection on human being or not. How said so? By claiming that she is open-minded and western educated. She always stand and talk in front of me, fully naked! Damn it, do you know how hard is it to talk to someone like them when they are naked? To show my respect, I stare only on her eyes without even dare to turn my eyes to somewhere else (trust me, it's real tiring).

And they have their culture to greet each other as fucker. Although I never greet her back with the f word but she is the one wake me up every morning with the f word. Yea, thanks to you I have my f day every day.

Story 4:

Okay, here come the bore part. It's about my life. I have no awesome extraordinary life style like them. Instead, I enjoy my healthy life.

Going to bed before 10pm and getting up early in the morning is part of my routine.

Eating breakfast is the best moment I enjoy the most. I heart FarmHouse milk, cereal, and pancake as my breakfast. And I eat more spaghetti than maggie mee. I learnt to make sandwich, soup, and prepare my lunch box, I add no sugar, salt and preservatives.

Oh! Yogurt fruit salad is always my favorite!

I enjoy sweating off in gym.

I love the way my instructors motivate me to achieve a higher stamina level, I love the way my personal trainer stare at me and congretz me losing some weight and look firmer now, I love the way I work hard with people together in a room with one same objective, enjoy our time stretching, dancing, kicking, jumping around in the room with pop music.

I heart Fitness First

I met a lot of Caucasian here. They are mostly passionate, friendly, respectfully, and gentle. I am total salute on their style of coping with problems. If allowed, I would like to learn up more from them. And maybe to convert myself into Christian. I found their food nice too! The cheesy creamy thingy.

Picture below was a sweet time spent with the passionate Switzerland family we met in our apartment.

Staying In KL making me so hard to resist myself from shopping. All the shopping mall are so close to me, and every time when I passing through the shopping mall is just like seeing them waving inviting me to pay them a visit.

I satisfy myself by spending a lot to dress up myself. I enjoy the success whenever people say: yVonne, you change a lot. you're prettier now!

For sure, I would like to thanks everyone, especially my house mate - Cindy Do.

She is very good in dressing up and I learn really a lot from her. Doesn't mean to imitate her style; but just fully convinced by her to buy the dresses she wearing. I would say that she had achieve the objective as a model. She make me wanted to buy the dresses that put on her so badly every time after she wear it, even the not-so-special looking one.

Cindy, you're a success. Please do not misunderstand me that I am a copy cat or a betrayal. I just improving myself by seeing you as a role model. Thanks for everything that you've inspired *hugs*

Admitting the truth that I am very materialistic; but well, I don't see the harm doing that. I do not commit myself in a crime or taking advantage of others just to fulfill my desire of buying.

I earned that much, I have that much and I spend that much. That's me, and I think I am enjoying it.