Dear D, [2]

As usual, I am complaining all about you;

but my sis opposed all my complains and stand by your side

"You were the one that said the wrong thing"

"Can't you see he'd been putting so much expectations on you?"

She said...

If whatever that my sis said was true; then

It's my fault never get your words when you said: "you can be better", "i want to push you more"

I thought you weren't satisfy with my performance;

but now only I realize its all came from your expectation

Sorry that I've said I might leave;

well, i might, and even considered to leave because i thought we weren't suit to work together

after i threw all the words out of anger;

you're no longer putting hopes on me.

no more calling me whenever you like to your side just to sing for you;

no more spending most of your time training me patiently;

no longer correcting me pitch by pitch until i get the right tune;

no longer pushing me to do this and that...

should i be happy because i am now carefree without your pressure?

should i relax because i can do whatever that i feel like doing?

no, i wasn't happy.

caz you're showing that you have already given me up

it's like you're telling: "you're useless for here"

"u're leaving, soon or later. i shouldn't spend so much time and effort training you..."

BUT

don't you think it's cruel to give up on someone so easily without trying?

I am still here.. part of the employees working with you reaching the same goal;

do you know how its feel when you show "ah, you're going to leave anyhow? why should i care to treat you as in you're going to stay longer?"

You've let me down for a month;

You just gave me up like that and I don't know how to respond

You've made me so uncomfortable working here;

when you showed your total change of treating me

you said i overconfident with myself;

and you hit it real hard

then you walked away,

leaving me there starring on the broken pieces

within the past few months, i've changed a lot

into someone that i can barely recognize.

i lost all my self confidence,

and started to doubt on myself

for the first ever time i have a thought that all my positive attitude was wrong

for the first ever time the words excited and passion can sound so negative

i was totally lost;

and my faith is shaking..

but now i've my solution figured out.

i don't care whether you've already given me up

i won't give in, no matter how.

i love this job, i enjoy working in this environment, and most importantly i love all my little customers

i decided to give myself a try,

i will not give up until i really have to.

yes, i am stubborn. very stubborn holding on the thing i really like

i am going to decide it by my own

whatever that you felt or decided;

i am sorry to say that i will continue working out my best as long as i am here

Just don't give up, i am working it out

please don't give in, i won't let you down

it messed me up, need a second to breath

[Adam Lambert -whatya want from me]